i wish people would come visit me and make me feel better.
not liking the fact that more change is on it’s way.
A couple times at work. Nearly passed out. Random motherfucker decides to walk up to me and start running his mouth about how the service at Plato’s sucked because we didn’t say hi to him. Then proceeds to come back up to me and says,” I’m gonna try to be as nice as possible.. that’s odd?” Me: “what?” “You gave me the weirdest look when I walked in the door. Blah blah blah (think I blacked out for a second) what is this about? Why did you look at me so weird. You don’t even say hi.. blah blah blah..” “I just threw up in the bathroom, dude. It wasn’t personal.” “You just threw up?” “Yeah.” ignore and walk away to ring someone up Then goes to tell stephanie that I was rude to him but it was okay because I was hot and that he comes in there all the time. Dog, ARE YOU ON DRUGS? If he said one more thing to me..
that instead of keeping your feelings to yourself,
you’d talk to me.
believe it or not; i won’t judge you.
thoughts and feelings are always going to be there.
regardless of what they are, they shouldn’t be discounted.
i’m sure you don’t want to,
but i’d tell you if you’d tell me.
and smile: everything is gonna be alright. things always look up.
to not know about anything:
i know how it is when you’re not sure of anything.
everyone is different in the place they are in their lives.
not everyone has the same ambitions or levels of ambitions.
everyone is different..
and nobody is normal because of that.
others just understand eachother better.
and i know that’s why i don’t necessarily feel normal.
I don’t feel like i have similar thoughts or dreams as others.
I’m trying the best to write this.. but it’s hard for me to understand.
I’ve always felt that i understand and communicate better with adults or those older than me.
But that’s because the level of understanding and the levels of maturity are different.
Is secret to all but me. I wish I could share it with someone but people are judgemental and close minded. My opinions, my hopes, dreams, thoughts: all confined to where no one can influence them quite like me. I won’t let them be tainted by the temporary people currently in my life. I’ll live in my head because my secrets can’t live in this world. I won’t let who I’m becoming be affected by those who don’t care to know themselves. My strength is my strength alone. No one has the ability to weaken it. My dreams are mine only; not to be shared and judged by others. My decisions will be mine and not yours. Just because I share my life with others does not give them a say in it.
My true fiestiness shows and it feels so much better to let it out. People used to know I wouldn’t put up with their shit.. Theyll know that again, the way my family knows ill call them out.
Without feeling super full. And feeling like i’m going to throw up. For some reason I hate food now.
And 5 of my fingers are bleeding. No suprise there.
that can’t be healthy?
on my couch.
singing to myself, along with mumford and sons..
in nothing but a button up denim shirt.
i guess you could call it that.
“yeah, that pretty much sums it up.”
some people just deserve forgiveness.
regardless of their stupid mistakes..
unexpected and a bit confusing,
i would be perfectly fine without any of you.
but that also doesn’t necessarily mean i want that.
but i know what other people call me.
beautiful, inspiring, creative, unique..
but does anyone really feel like that?
and i will make sure of it from this day forward.